11 February 2008

Glossary of UMNO / BN terms !!!

Someone drop this in my mail........

Glossary of UMNO / BN terms !!!

Accountability” only applies to publicly exposed sexual indiscretion and not financial scandal or abuse of power.

Anti-corruption” means only the small fish, or those who are no longer favoured by the PM, are investigated and prosecuted; and not across the board, without fear or favour.

Bad things will happen if opposition wins big” means we will engineer another riot and impose Emergency Rule.

Clean” means turning a blind eye on all evidence of graft or abuse of power, and usually follows “We will look into it”, and is a perk that’s only extended to top tier government politicians.

Cost effectiveness” only applies to the private sector, and certain unfavoured public sector.

Democracy” means majority mob rules, without regard for rule of law, respect for fundamental rights enshrined in the Constitution, real public consultation, or meaningful and intelligent debate in the Parliament.

Free and fair elections” means strictly free for the ruling coalition to abuse state apparatus during campaign period, breaching Electoral Laws by promising projects as bribes, monopolising the media and demeaning the opposition, benefiting from ages of gerrymandering, and having a compliant Election Commission.

Freedom of assembly” is only for supporters of the ruling coalition - any opposition rally is deemed a threat to “National Security”

I can’t remember” means I can actually remember those corrupt things I did but I am counting on the commissioners of inquiry, police, ACA investigators etc… not to draw any adverse inference on my credibility, because they are supposed to know how to do their job. (of protecting me)

I will listen” means listening only to self-serving kaki bodeks; and not the civil society and public at large.

Independence of the Judiciary” means freedom from the influence of all other political forces, except UMNO, and depending on the generosity of UMNO &BN. Correct,correct,

Inflation” means a small selection of grocery items, instead a basket that’s more representative of current day reality including fuel and basic transportation and housing needs.

Islamic state” which by definition means a theocratic state, still means a state run by a secular constitution, but the Islamic authorities including syariah courts get to encroach into the space of civil law in spite of the original social contract.

Malay rights” means the right of UMNO to taxpayers’ money through award of contracts without open tender.

Malaysia boleh” means UMNO/BN goons can essentially do anything they want and get away with it, except maybe when near elections.

National security” means the political security of UMNO/BN, and not the nation as a whole.

National unity” means Malays united behind UMNO to perpetuate electoral majority, and not necessarily unity of all races in Malaysia.

NEP still required” means UMNO/BN is not done milking the coffers, and it’s good to have poverty ridden Malays to justify continuation of the policy.

Politicking” is a naughty word, usually only applies to opposition criticism of the government, side-stepping the issue being criticised about.

Power sharing” in the context of Barisan Nasional means, if UMNO says sit, you ask how long. If UMNO says jump, you say how high. If UMNO makes any pronouncements, you should, without missing a heartbeat, say you agree and that it is good for the nation. Also means UMNO gets to embezzle most of taxpayers’ money and petroleum profit and leave the crumps to MCA and MIC. Of course, crony businessmen of other races can share in the UMNO orgy, but just a small fraction.

Press freedom” is when the press gets to report half-truths or simply outright lies, or omits to report newsworthy items, all in favour of the ruling coalition.

Progress” is when you spend millions sending a space tourist to space with no discernible leap in technological innovation for the nation, except damaged experiments and pretty pictures, and a promise to do the same thing again in the near future.

Public consultation” means we only appear to listen.

Public order” means we say jump, you ask how high, and ties in to “National Security”.

the Rakyat is happy with [*]”
* being variables such as “ISA”, “Judiciary”, “Police”, “Economy” etc…
means UMNO is happy with the state of affairs, nevermind what the rakyat really wants.

Sedition” means instilling hatred in the ruling coalition as a political entity, instead of the universal meaning of instilling hatred against the government structure of the nation itself, such as when the Communists sought to bring down the Tsars in Russia, or the republic, in China.

Sensitive issue” means any issue that potentially erodes support for UMNO, especially when pointing out how UMNO plunders the coffers, or practices devisive and racist politics.

Service with a smile” means smiling at you while saying “sorry we only take in this number of applications today, please travel tens of km back again tomorrow”, “your application to hold a peaceful assembly is rejected”, “the officer has gone to attend “kursus”", “sorry we couldn’t save him because ambulance ran out of petrol”, or “sorry the baby’s arm has to come off because you know, shit happens”......

Social contract” which originally was meant to be limited Malay/Bumi privileges, under reasonable conditions and time frames, in respect of education and public sector employment, and where Malay language and Islam is only an official symbol of Malaysian identity, and not intended for their moral strictures to be imposed on the Malaysian society at large; now means perpetual Malay supremacy and Islam as substantive public policy.

Transparency” applies only to the private sector, opposition parties, and non-favoured public authorities; not UMNO/BN.

Walk the talk” is directly and exponentially inverted in relation to position in political office.

We are fair” means the ruling coalition treats transgressions of law, within itself, with kid’s gloves, and everyone else gets the full brunt of the law, i.e. selective prosecution.

We will look into it” in the context of opposition complaints means the file is marked “No further action required”.

Work with me“, that is, until we have completely plundered the economy, provide for another 10 generations of our children and grandchildren, and comfortably retire in another paradise island, leaving the rest behind high and dry.


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